Life Update

My blog is not typically a place for personal posts, but a lot has been going on the past few months.

​In late November, I visited the dermatologist to have a suspicious spot on my left shoulder looked at. Upon seeing it, the dermatologist was very concerned it may be melanoma and decided to biopsy the area that day. He sent the biopsy to be tested to 1) determine if it was melanoma and 2) if it was, if it was deep and had potentially spread to my lymph nodes.

So we prayed.

Two weeks later I received a call with good and bad news. The bad news was that it was indeed melanoma. The good news was it didn’t not appear to be deep into the dermis. I was told the next step would be for a surgeon to go in and get the margins – essentially cut out a larger area to make sure they got all the cancerous tissue.

So we continued to pray.

​In January, Jill and I met with the surgeon for a consultation. In addition to the surgeon taking the margins in my shoulder, his plan was to also identify the lymph node connected to that area of my shoulder and remove it. While he said there was only a 1 in 10 chance that the cancer had spread to the lymph node, removing and testing the node would help determine the plan moving forward. If the node was clean, they’d know they got all the bad stuff and I’d be good to go. If the melanoma had traveled to the lymph node, then they could start me on treatment. But this way we’d know one way or the other.

Next up was waiting for the next available date to perform the surgery. My case was prioritized, but we weren’t sure how soon they’d be able to get me in. So we waited and continued to pray. On Tuesday, February 13, I received a call saying they had a cancellation and could do the survey two days later (February 15). To celebrate Valentine's Day, I got bloodwork and an EKG since the procedure the next day was going to require general anesthesia. Then on Thursday, Jill and I drove up to Kaiser Riverside for the big day. After Radiology determined the connected lymph node was located near my left clavicle (about 4-5 inches from the biopsied area), they prepped me for surgery and rolled me into the O.R. A couple hours later, I woke up with 11 staples in my shoulder, a few sutures near my clavicle, and one less lymph node. The procedure went well, with the surgeon able to remove all the affected tissue and the lymph node. I was told that the node would be sent for testing and I’d receive the results in about a week. 

Once again, we waited. And prayed. Lots and lots of praying.

At a little after 5:00 p.m. on Monday, February 19, I received an email letting me know I had a message from the surgeon waiting for me on kp.org. With my heart beating out of my chest, I sat down at my computer, knowing the next few moments could potentially change the trajectory of my life. After navigating to my message Inbox, I was greeted with the following words:

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“No spread of melanoma to the lymph node.”

It’s not often an email or text message causes you to burst into tears, but this was one of them. Never before in my life had I felt such relief, and I spent the next hour or so calling and texting family and close friends to share the good news.

​God is good. But if things had turned out differently, He would still be good. The past three months have been some of the most emotionally exhausting of my life. But through all of it, I knew that I was in the hand of the Most High. His goodness and sovereignty are not dependent on Him answering my prayers. But I’m so, so thankful He did.

For those who have been praying for my situation, thank you. Know that I felt your prayers. A colleague told me last week that he was impressed at how I had handled the situation. My response? “That’s God. That wasn’t me.” All glory goes to Him.

So if you interacted with me over the past few months, asked me how I was doing, and I responded with something like “I’m hanging in there,” now you know why. Because I was struggling. I was just hanging in there.

But I was never alone.